The Emotional Rollercoaster: An Update on How I'm Feeling

For most of my adult life, deep down, I never thought I would see this month. To be here today is a testament to how strange this illness is and how hard I have fought. I find it ironic, that, even today, all my medical tests show that I am healthy. and to an observer I seem fine, as well. Yet, I struggle with basic tasks like putting on a shirt.

Over 28 years ago, I either did or did not replicate an experiment from the early 20th century. If I did not, then everything I've documented is rubbish and I will likely continue living a long and healthy life. That's what all the tests say. That's what all the doctors say. Well, my neurologist believes me when I say something is wrong, and my orthopedist admits I have osteopenia - and that it is worsening at a "higher rate than expected." But, kidneys, heart, liver, all those things look fine on imaging and blood tests concur. What if I did replicate the experiment?

If I did replicate the experiment that means my heart was beating abnormally, causing suction due to an AV/SA Node swap, and that I was on the verge of dying from dehydration brought on by uncontrolled polyuria. It means that I saved my life with research no longer available to the public. Research that is not online and has not been made available to any current AI engines. It also means this research was not just documented from the early 20th century but that further research was done after 1950. The Na/K pump was not documented until that time. The research I read went into great detail about how the Na/K pump was run in reverse due to an invasion of the cell by the candidiasis organism.

Why is this timing important? The Neuremberg Code was established in 1947 as a set of ethical principles for human experimentation. Among other things, the key principles of the Neurmberg Code include:

• Experiments should yield fruitful results for the good of society that cannot be obtained by other methods

• Avoidance of unnecessary physical and mental suffering and injury

• No experiment should be conducted if it is believed to cause death or disabling injury

As my condition is iatrogenic and irreversible, and, notably, fatal with significant suffering, it should not ever have been conducted after 1947. Yet, obviously, it was conducted. I suppose there is a chance that it was conducted in the 20s and 30s and the subjects were only studied after 1947, but I doubt that is the case.

If I did replicate the experiment, I granted myself an almost 3-decade-long reprieve, and my time grows ever shorter. The science behind this condition is fascinating. I believe there are elements of it at virtually every level of biological science that would contribute to advancing human knowledge and might give insight into treatments or cures for other conditions. But, none of that knowledge exists, because someone, somewhere, has chosen to redact science. Someone is controlling the knowledge of humanity. I find that worse than the implied ethical issues with the original experiments. This knowledge should exist.

As for how I am feeling, well, I don't have as many pains since last week. I went to my PCP and he put me on Lyrica. It has helped significantly with my surface pains. I still have muscle pains and severe joint pains in my shoulders, but life is more tolerable. I told him that I still believe I have what I have always said I have, but that I am grateful for his efforts and that the drug is helping.