My Life Has Been Fascinating

Let me just say that, I truly have found my life to be fascinating. I was in a situation where I literally had no chance of surviving. I had acquired a condition that was terminal. Conventional medicine would have had no solution - in fact would have never found the problem. I recognized there was a problem, used a total of 2 or 3 medical texts and happened to find the diagnosis in a case study about an experimental procedure performed in the early 20th Century. By doing so, I added 26 years to my life. My choices were to try for what the article represented as 20-25 more years or die.

At the time, I was locked up, self-committed to a nice psychiatric care hospital because my condition was not allowing me to sleep and I was manic. I did not have the medication utilized in the experiment. Yet, I managed to duplicate the outcome using diet coke, willpower, and some controlled breathing.

This process saved my life but inflicted a lifetime of infrequent biological changes to hormones, circulatory changes, and more - while remaining out of the basic clinically significant deviances from what is considered normal. Without the original article, I had no reference. Due to its experimental nature, being triggered by a treatment that is not a part of modern medicine, the condition is literally unheard of in the 21st century. I tried to get a medical diagnosis. I even wrote up a long summary with all I had endured and all I could remember about the article and presented it to my physicians, and physicians I know personally. And not once was I believed - because the tests did not show anything significant. Physicians do not go looking for things they have not heard of. Think of the medical system as a medical AI that has been fed ALL the clinical data from all the patients since computers were invented. With such an AI you could type in a symptom and get every possible diagnosis. None of those would be what I have. Knowledge was lost, and that allowed the medical system to fail. Even with me there attempting to explain the exact answer, that answer was never a possibility.

Even I was guilty of not believing. Each time a biological change occurred, I would recognize the symptoms from the original article, have it investigated without anything being found, and then, later, convince myself that I was ok or at least doubt I had the condition. What choice did I have? No one believed me. It would have been a solo effort to scour the planet for references to the original experiments or article. I did look. Many times and in many ways, I have looked. I have had a library researcher look. But, the information was predigital, and it has been lost. If information is not stored digitally, it is basically not information, anymore. How much knowledge has been effectively lost in the transition to digital information? Perhaps the knowledge exists somewhere in a book, but if that book is never turned into digital information, it might as well not exist in today's world.

As a result, the actual changes that my body has undergone are equally as fascinating, as they simply are not known to modern medicine. Basically, they defy the expected behavior in so many ways, they truly illustrate that the biology of being a human is an incredibly complex and adaptable system, yet it is beaten by a single cell organism that predates it by millions of years.

In each stage, candidiasis has a specific attack vector with a specific outcome. Initially, the abdominal lining is infiltrated and the nerves eroded, while also attacking the system salt-balance in the non-circulatory portion of the body and then the heart. Here, death comes without an intervention to supercharge the pituitary. But that change comes with its own consequences. However, years later, the changes in the salt-balance cause the heart to suffer damage. This damage, in turn, causes another change in salts and body pH. The flesh of the body becomes apoptotic - not subject to necrosis. These changes then eventually cause another change to the pituitary. This change eventually results in heart failure. Yet, even as the heart fails, the pituitary keeps the brain working, and the candidiasis gains even further by attacking the digestive system. At this point, virtually nothing in the body is working as it should, yet life persists.

I think this is the point I am at, today, as I write this, and yet, what choices do I have? What would you have me do? There is no treatment, there is no cure, and there is no one that will even believe it, or know something appropriate to do if they did find at least part of the picture with their clinical examination.

I refer to it as the Kobayashi Maru scenario. I'm just along for the ride. I could go a physician or to the ED but they would have no point of reference and would inevitably attempt to change something and the delicate balance in place would shift and I would die. Or I can stay home. There the question is - what happens if I stay home? Is there some point at which I have to go the ED? What is that point? What justifies the risk? How high must the pain be? What change would merit that trip? It is all just a huge Gordian Knot which I frankly cannot begin to unravel.