I'm A Little Angry

I'm not feeling well and I believe that the things I'm feeling now are good signals that I'm reaching the end of this road. I've had a good six weeks after all the pain when it suddenly stopped. This is quite different.

I'm pretty sure thiings are stopping and my osmolality is getting very high trying to force my pituitary to work harder. The headache is intense. The stomach pains are also pretty intense and I've added pain in a new spot.

I'm angry. Angry that I have so little time, angry I have to hurt, angry that I'm still not believed. Angry but grateful. I've had a blessed existance compared to the average person that is living or has ever lived - longer than father's and his father's. I've been so many places, sing in front of literally thousands of people (cumulatively) , read so many books (six this last week), had good jobs, achieved two college degrees, been married twice, seen my son through sixteen and a half years of his life, taught him a lot, met my soul mate and would walk through fire for her, saved my own life through duplicating an medical procedure that has been hidden from science, owned a kick ass car (and it's electric), and tonight I grilled some great Mediterranean chicken kabobs.

I have prepared my family to the best of my ability and made sure everyone would be cared for financially.

I'm not satisfied, but I am facing this and know that even though no one else knows what I have except me, I am not without support.

I don't know how quickly it will end but I'm quite sure it is about that time. I'm not scared. Maybe I will be, but I don't think so.