2024

Well, I can honestly say I am surprised to see 2024.

I stopped making videos and writing entries for the holidays, as I just wanted to be present and focus on enjoying my days. I have learned to enjoy Fortnite. I've played it a lot over the holidays. Today, my office is closed due to the extreme record cold, and I have already done my daily match quests.

I have a really good grasp of where I am in my condition. That doesn't mean I know how many days/weeks (or more) are left, but I have pieced together more of what has gone on in my body over the last couple years. The more I experience, the more it fits together.

Once again, this is not a feel-good blog. This is a place where I document my thoughts about my condition, what I am going through, and other random things. The things I will write about today are technical, frank, and not uplifting. So, if you are looking for those things, you might want to skip this one.

My whole condition starts with a change in circulation that damages the kidneys and causes retention of potassium and loss of sodium. This change is a slight narrowing of the inferior vena cava caused by a change in how the heart beats due to an electrolyte imbalance brought on by SIADH and hyponatremia. That was 1995, many years ago. At the time, I managed to replicate an experiment from the early 20th century that causes the pituitary to take over electrolyte balance control. One of the tradeoffs is that volume is not managed properly. Over the years, the pituitary uses pressure and pH to push electrolytes into other places.

At first, this is interstitial spaces. Eventually, after years, they reach capacity. This causes a cardiac event. This cardiac event allows circulatory fluids to backup. These fluids aren't obvious, as the skin has already been tightened from another effect of the condition. This bring about another phase as the fluids essentially rinse out the potassium.

There are a few other phases that occur over the years. These transitions are traumatic mentally and physically, generally accompanied by various types of pain - abdominal due to circulatory changes, skin and flesh burning sensations caused by the candidiasis returning as a pH/electrolyte concentration threshold is crossed, and polyuria caused by circulatory and hormonal changes.

On January 17, 2022, my body could no longer retain the narrowing of the inferior vena cava. This resulted in an equilibration of pressure across my circulatory system. Suddenly, The backpressure that had been pushing electrolytes and fluids into the interstitial spaces of my legs and abdomen was gone. The result was an acute change in urinary habits. I went from a weak, light-colored stream to a very dark strong stream with repeated urgent need to urinate. I lost 30 pounds in about 6 weeks as this fluid and salts were rapidly purged from my body.

I remember now a section from the article where the men would celebrate with huge feasts. The reason was that during this period, the body isn't retaining any of the electrolytes that are consumed, so the men could eat whatever they wanted. This would eventually change, so they took advantage of the condition, even though you don't feel great during all of this.

Eventually, all the salts and fluids are gone. But, the kidneys still work as they did when the condition started, retaining potassium, so the pituitary continues signaling the body to reduce volume. Eventually, volume is so depleted that it begins to damage organs. Once the kidneys are damaged sufficiently, they stop voiding as much fluid and a balance is regained.

This is temporary. Eventually, the body begins to once again begin having electrolytes pushed into the interstitial spaces. As more electrolytes are pushed in, more fluid goes with them. This is where we are today. As interstitial volume increases, circulatory volume decreases. Eventually, a limit will be reached.

The condition is much more complicated than I have summarized here. The science behind it is quite amazing. Yet the entire thing has been redacted from medical literature. Why? Well, I can only theorize, but I have some ideas. First, the original experiments were pre-Neuremberg. This is a period where research was done in less ethical settings. I don't believe this particular research was unethical; however, I believe it was followed up on with additional research which would have been unethical at the time it was done. Why do I think this? The article I read in 1995 was in a relatively modern diagnostic manual. In explaining the phases of the condition it referred to science that did not evolve until the 1930's and later. Given the length of the condition (28 years in my case), this research would be post-Neuremberg.

Why would they conduct such research? The article mentioned that the condition had been looked into for super-soldier research. Realize, there are some significant advantages to the changes that occur. Upper body strength and circulation is increased. Even when dehydrated, the individuals retain normal electrolyte levels, enabling them to go long periods without water. Infection is also prevented due to some method that increases the effectiveness of one part of the immune system to make up for the deactivation of the part that should fight off the candida. I believe the person who wrote the article had access to this more modern research. They certainly had complete access to the original research as there were numerous photos of the subjects, as I have detailed elsewhere. The final thing that makes me think the researcher knew the condition was being hidden away was how they mentioned it was being reclassified to APECED, which is obviously an incorrect association but by removing the individuality of the condition, it effectively disappears. That was the goal. Someone didn't want people looking into the condition.

I would pay any sum to have access to the article I read. I think often of the week I spent in the Laureate, when I replicated the experiment. Would I have lived if I had not been in that place, at that time, with access to that book and the motivation to try and duplicate the experiment? I can't know, but I don't think I would have. My system was not working correctly, and I don't believe a physician would have figured out what to do. There was an alternative - stopping the heart and restarting it while administering an ethanol IV, as suggested in the article, but now that I've seen so many doctors, I realize that such a thing would never have occurred to them and I would have stroked out.

So, I cannot be mad about my condition. As I sat there that day contemplating going through with it, not knowing if I could succeed, but somehow suspecting I might, I did that mental math. I was 26 years old. The article said that the treatment could add 20-25 years to the person's life but that it would have these transitions accompanied by symptoms and that, in today's world, the person would be labeled a hypochondriac and likely give up on medical treatment. It even went on to say exactly how they would likely die. But the math was clear, I could most likely die within 24-48 hours, or I could try for another two decades or more. If I was wrong and didn't have the condition it outlined, the cost was nothing. If I was right, I might as well try because they certainly were not sending me to a hospital (literally a couple hundred yards away) to get examined.

So, I gave it a shot, as outlined elsewhere, and I succeeded.

This is the documentation of my journey. When I think of all I have been able to do and see in the 28 years, I am thankful I did what I did. The internet was in its infancy. TV's were small, my son wouldn't be born until more than ten years later. I haven't traveled as much as I would have liked, but I can honestly say I'm a lucky man in many ways.